You may have heard your favorite new age guru talking about how having positive vibes only is the way to create the life you want. It’s a great concept… however, it’s also unattainable and, quite frankly, impractical.
It leads to bypassing and doesn’t allow us to take ownership of our choices. It keeps us from moving through traumatic experiences because we’re forcing ourselves to feel something we’re not ready to feel. It causes anxiety and stress because we start to fear that if we’re not being positive then we’re not doing it right… right?
Here’s the deal: shit happens. Shit that causes us to hurt, instills trauma and pain, and even leads us down paths we never thought we’d go on. We have every single right in the world to feel that pain when something devastating happens. It doesn’t matter if that event is losing a business deal, failing a launch, or is as difficult as losing someone you love – there is a grieving process we must honor.
We have to feel it in order to get through it. If we start to see emotions as they are – energy in motion – we realize they have to move through us in order to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Here are a few ways to help them forward.
How to move through it
1. Get active
Physically moving your body through dance, shaking it out, or going outside and walking in nature will help to loosen those emotions and allow them to come through. Ecstatic dance is an incredible tool where you feel the emotions of a song and bring them out in your dancing.
2. Use your voice
Our voices are extremely powerful. We change the world when we speak up for ourselves, for what we believe in, and for others. Sing in the shower, harmonize while you’re in nature, or talk with a loved one. You may find your voice wavering on some notes that bring more emotion or have a word you’re using repeatedly in conversation – pay attention to those signals that this is something you’re moving through.
3. Write it all down
Take pen to paper and write out exactly how you’re feeling. Allow the words to move through you and possibly bring you towards a solution if you have to make a difficult decision. The answers are all within you, you just have to find ways to bring it forward. Journaling is one of the best tools to do just that.
How to move forward
Once you’ve felt all your heart is asking you to feel through the tools mentioned above, it’s time to start moving to the next steps where you can capture your new normal. The key is honoring your process and the time it’s going to take you. It’s not about the finish line, it’s about the journey and exactly how you get to that finish line. Here are some steps to take when moving forward.
1. Start small
No matter what has happened, you know what you need to do next. Take your largest task and break it down into smaller tasks. Check off what you’ve accomplished in real time so you can see your progress. This makes your tasks more digestible and you’re able to wrap your head around what you need to do to move forward.
2. Create structure
If you find yourself stuck after you’ve moved through some emotions, take some time to write out a schedule for yourself and stick to it. Be sure to schedule in time for rest and breaks so that you’re not running yourself to the ground after a difficult event. Giving yourself a structure creates action and accountability for movement.
3. Find what you’re grateful for
One of the most powerful mindsets to have is one of gratitude. When you remember all the things you have, your head can become clearer and able to tackle what’s next. Write down 10 things you’re grateful for when you’re moving through a setback or a bit of bad news. The beauty of life can sometimes help you clear the cobwebs.
We know you’ve got this, no matter what. And we’re here for you at Brand Like Hers, sister.